Here in Jackson, we try to be as classy as possible. We always drink the most expensive and high class varieties of spirits (PBR). We wear the newest fashions and set trends (80’s onesies), and we drive the world’s most expensive cars (Muddy Tacomas). But for one night a year we celebrate a sport that for some reason touches the hearts of even the most high brow of us all, its called the Ocho. Otherwise known as the Figure Eight Races, its a little bit Nascar, its a little bit Mad Max, but more than anything, its just about America.
Some would argue that the more well-known demolition derby is more of a sight to behold but NAY, I say to those, you are mistaken, it’s the Ocho that really brings people together. Unlike the smash and dash of the demo derby, the Ocho takes skill, patience, street smarts, and guts. Flat tires, sparking engines, smoke inhalation.. the potential hazards are endless, the competitors fearless. The Ocho is also about recycling. Most of the cars are found in the dump or impound lots, and then returned after the event to be sold for spare parts. The sustainability efforts are really inspiring. However, the most inspiring fact that I learned about the Ocho this year was very interesting…they have a women’s division. And the winner goes straight to the Finals.
I think you know where I’m going with this.
Let’s sess out my potential qualifications and if Backbone wants to sponsor me, we can figure out the details later.
1) I’m from Kansas, the home of Nascar, driving has to be in my blood. (Along with a lot of high fructose corn syrup and complex carbohydrates)
2) I learned to drive on a John Deere, which may actually have a similar turning radius than a car with 2 blown tires, a common occurrance at the Ocho.
3) I happen to be good friends with last year’s winner, Michael Wold, a man who when I asked how he was preparing for the races just said to me…”Sarah, some people ride mountain bikes or backcountry ski. Some people are fisherman or hunters. I am a driver.” And in a potentially not 100% sober state, told me he would be proud to teach me. 
4) I get a pit crew-which means I don’t necessarily need to know how my engine works, nor do I need to speak Lugnut.
5) Only 5 girls from the area competed last night, I like those odds.
6) I have incredible go kart skills, and bumper car skills
So, whataya think? If I start training now, I think I will be ready. I’m thinking we could round up some client sponsors. Gerber? I think this means I’m “Fending For Myself,” 1% For the Planet? The car is definitely recycled and run on all bio fuel (hmm). Klean Kanteen? I will need a beverage and I only drink beverages out of stainless steel. POC Helmet and goggles? Black Diamond gloves? I feel like this could really bring us all together.